ManCave Manifesto 5/9/17

Here it is, folks. The main event. The “ManCave Manifesto”. This name might suck ass, I’m not sure yet. This will be my recurring blog where I curl up on the luxurious couch that resides in my parent’s basement and blog my sack off about whatever pressing issue that might pop in my mind. I’d like to use this first Manifesto to lay a foundation for what KEEP IT PG will be. To set the vibe so to speak. Kinda like the first time you hang out with a girl and you try super hard and look presentable and smell nice and pay. Gotta make that VERY good first impression so that the second impression can kinda suck but it’s still okay. So, with that said, I’ll open by saying my ass is severely chapped by all things Chicago Cubs over the past 48 hours. Allow me to explain.

First of all, you’ll come to learn that I HATE the Yankees. I’m a big Orioles fan so it just comes with the territory. Despise that team. So when Sunday Night Baseball rolls around, of course I bet the Cubs and root hard against the Yankees. I wasn’t just being a hater, I legitimately thought it was a good bet. Big believer that the Yankees will regress eventually. Whatever. To make a long story short, I suffer through 18 innings of horrendous ESPN commentary (#FireMendoza #FireBoone) just for the Yanks to pull it off right in my stupid face. Even after Chapman practically hands the Cubs the game by loading the bases in the 9th and then hitting Rizzo with a 100mph missile right to the wrist. What a nightmare.

So like a true degenerate, I see an opportunity emerge from this loss. I realize that there will be HUGE value in fading the Cubs the next day because, well, because they just played 18 innings. Duh. Concrete logi. My bet – Colorado Rockies ML vs Chicago Cubs. This was a no brainer. Like I said, 18 innings on Sunday night baseball, lost, got beat up, and then have to travel to Colorado (altitude – ever heard of it?) to play the Rockies who are high key very good? Uhh yeah I’m gonna smash dat ML. Arrieta was on the bump for the Cubs so Chicago was still the favorite. I loved the line. I loved this bet. I had found a diamond in the rough. I KNEW the Cubs would get smacked around. Rizzo just got drilled! Javy was hurting! I KNEW Arrieta would stink out loud. He has been so suspect this season. Must be off the juice. Anyway, gametime comes on Monday and it gets postponed to today due to a HAIL STORM in MAY in Colorado. What the actual fuck. I figure, “Damn, now they’re gonna play this game Tuesday. The Cubs will be rested by then and my logic becomes invalid” so I don’t bet it today. What do you know, Arrieta gets rocked out of this world and Rockies win 10-4. Nice.


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